I’m having one of those days. I received my usual unconventional wake-up call (Baxter the cat scratching on my head to wake me up earlier than I intended) and rolled out and got my day started. With my first cup of coffee, I thought of everything that needs to be done today and that’s when the problem started. I was tired already. About 30 minutes into my stupor – the state of mind I find myself in when I try developing a plan and realize it will never work…that stuck place…then it hit me. I’ve started wrongly. The cat…the day’s stuff…the overwhelming feeling of knowing I can’t do this by myself. I was totally occupied by being preoccupied. I have so much to do today I don’t know where to start. So, I just sit there, thinking about it. Stuck. Preoccupied with what is to occupy this day.
I was reminded, once again, that none of this is doable (for me) without God’s strength, His grace and mercy. He provides what I need to get through the day. When left to myself to take care of it, none of it gets done. No wonder people (including me) at times) are in a turbulent desperate state when time with Him isn’t included…when we don’t turn to Him for help. Can you relate?
Life sometimes devours our joy if we let it. When I realized what was going on and where I went wrong, a decision had to be made. Do I continue on in this state of mind or, regardless of the load of responsibility, do I stop and go to Him? You’d think after all these years and having been in this same preoccupied/over-occupied spot I would learn.
That’s the point of this blog this morning…realizing that my strength…even my want to, to be strong is in Him. He’s my source; my resource! All these diversions, I believe are designed to make me not give Him a thought, much less clear my mind and spend time with Him. I see clearly that even my will to fight the urge to give up today is totally in and on Him.
I think a do-over is in order. I think I’ll push the restart button and cast – chunk – purposefully THROW all my cares to Him because He cares. I’ll sit with Him and get into His word. I’ll look up all the verses about anxiety and see what He says. I can’t do today any other way. I think I’ll occupy myself with the One who knows me best and loves me most. I hope you will too!