Killing Me

I don’t like my perspective today.  I don’t like what I think will happen, what I see and what I feel.  I don’t like me or anything about me today. So I’m not doing it anymore.  I’m going to kill myself. I don’t have the desire to deal with me or “this” anymore.

I’m going to decide to trust God and what He says about me – that I’m cherished, beautiful, and the apple of His eye.  I’m going to believe He has a great plan for me, plans to prosper me.  He has hope for me and since I don’t (today), I’m going to keep moving on what He says and act like I believe it.  He’s my willpower and energy today because this ole gal is dead.  I’m choosing to “kill” her and not do anything, say anything or believe anything she says.  I’m living for and BY Him.

Some days that choice…that sacrifice is more significant than others.  Some days it’s easy and we live subconsciously doing our normal things without giving them a thought.  Other days we just don’t want to get out of bed.  Whether we’re going through something or recovering from having gone through something, some days we may not want to.

Even on good days, strong days, we should get ourselves out of the way and live for Him as that puts us in a different place, a better place…a place outside ourselves.  During those times, everything has more purpose and meaning and we see it’s really not about ourselves at all.

Killing ourself isn’t such a bad thing if it means sacrificing our wants and desires for Him and what He wants for us which is better and greater than we can imagine.  I’m willing to believe that and try it again today…are you?

Psalm 54:6 “Willingly I will sacrifice to You; I will give thanks to Your name O LORD, for it is good.”

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