There have been times in my life that I wanted to be who someone needed and wanted me to be. I tried very hard not to disappoint but ultimately, my “real self” surfaced and I felt I had failed miserably as a human being. When I love someone I want to be everything they want me to be and want to be the perfect image they have created in their mind and heart of who they would like for me to be.
Truth is, I can’t be. I can only be myself.
Why did I say “only” in that last sentence? Why are we never satisfied with ourselves and accepting of our own limitations just as much as we accept the shortcomings of those whom we love? Why are we endless critics, always expecting ourselves to meet perfection standards we would never place on anyone else?
There’s a deep human need to be loved and accepted. Some of us will literally do anything to have people love us. While the need is normal, the lengths to which we sometimes go are not.
I drive a car, but I’m not a mechanic. Does that make me someone who shouldn’t drive? I love to cook, garden, work out in the yard…but I’m not a master chef nor a seasoned landscaper. Should I stop doing those things?
Remember who created you…just like you are. You’re a unique individual, designed and crafted by God Himself. He knows what we’re good at, what we enjoy and even what we have to do. I tend to believe He instilled those things in us. Why can’t we be okay with who we are and our own limitations? Why can’t we express our true selves, who after all is who we were intended to be!?
The other side of that coin is to not place expectations on those around us. We may have a picture in our minds of what we think someone should do and how they should act and perform (for lack of a better word). Is that love? We sometimes justify our demands on others by saying we want the best for them, we want to help them be better people. Do we really, or do we want them to be what we think they should be?
Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Be thankful you can do what you do. You have your own custom-designed, unique ability to touch your world and those around you in a way that only you can. God designed you to love Him and show His love to others, and I think a big part of that is having the faith and confidence in Him to do just that. You keep doing you. Love Him back and display His love to others being the wonderful masterpiece you are. That’s your purpose!