Tag Archives: anxiety

Code 82!! Code 82!!

This morning was a normal morning.  No drama, son got up on time.  Normal, normal.  Calm, calm.  My favourite kind of morning.  Until I got in my car.  Instead of the normal dashboard readings I saw something ominous:  “CODE 82”

Those who know me know NOTHING scares or upsets me more than something being wrong with the car. As I’ve said on multiple occasions, I have many car horror stories.  Immediately I started shaking…and praying.  I pulled out the owner’s manual:  nothing.  Nada.  I was afraid to drive my son to work so we called him a taxi and I waited until my car guy opened his shop.  I talked to God all the way through and practiced saying thank you for whatever it was knowing (I mean REALLY trusting) that whatever it was He would help me take care of it.

Finally it came time for the car place to open.  They told me it was a “change oil” indicator – but that made me feel no better because I had my oil changed around 1000 miles ago (by him).  They weren’t concerned at all; me – another story.  I was trying so hard to be a big girl.  My heart knew Father would help – my head well…let’s just say a fierce battle to ‘walk in the Spirit and not fulfil the lust of the flesh’ was happening. I wanted to smile and believe; I was trying sooooo hard to – but my head kept telling me impending disaster was occurring right before my eyes!

Turns out, it was an oil indicator that hadn’t been reset.  These gentlemen (Calhoun Motor Company) even put it up on the rack, checked the oil and everything under the hood to make sure everything was okay.  They went over and beyond to ease my anxiety.

Two things – AGAIN – came to mind.  First, when trouble or fear hits because we’re human, we’ll have some kind of physical reaction albeit a racing heart, a head game telling you the world’s about to explode or something.

The second thing is, when something does happen (and believe me it WILL), pray FIRST.  Then do what you can do.  Had I just let the car set and fretted over it instead of taking it where I knew I could get it seen to, I would’ve made myself sick eventually. I know because I’ve sat praying for something to be resolved not making any effort to do what I could because I was paralysed in fear or dread and nothing got accomplished.

Even if Code 82 had been something major, I was reminded yet again that my Father is with me through it all. He stands ready to calm and help me – and He wants to.  Instead of running to me though, He waits for me to turn to Him.  I did and we dealt with Code 82.

What are you dealing with right now?  Stop.  Talk to the One who loves you the most then see what can be done.  ****Interestingly, these were my verses this morning.  Thank You Father that I got the chance to put them into practice!  Don’t you LOVE IT!!!!

Philippians 4:4-7 (NASB)  “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men.  The Lord is near.  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

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What Did You PickUp?

Monday I was all excited because I was going to meet a friend and we were going to one of my favourite places in this area.  So I get ready, go outside to put something in the car to find a flat tire!  UGH! Someone had told me about a place very close to me that plugs tires so I inflated the tire as best I could and go to that place.  I knew this tire had a slow leak but whenever I took it somewhere we could never find the leak.  This business I took it to provided extra effort after I told him it often loses air.  He jacked the car up, took the tire off and began to search every inch of the tire.  Turns out I had picked up a tiny nail.

Two things came to my mind.  First, we “pick up” stuff knowing we’ve got it and don’t think it’s much until we see the results of the recurrent problem.  We pick up heartaches, anger, bad eating habits, bad habits in general and think a little bit of this and that won’t hurt us – until we end up sick or in some kind of predicament we can’t get out of.  If we had just dealt with it when we first were exposed, maybe we wouldn’t be in the present situation.

Sometimes we don’t know we’ve picked up anything.  I had no idea I had a nail in my tire, I just knew there was a problem with that tire. At the first sign of trouble I didn’t pursue the problem, I just treated the symptom – I needed air so I put air in it.  I was thinking it happens, the changes in the weather, etc., just normal tire stuff.

Life gets us that way doesn’t it! We think ‘no big deal, I can handle this; it’ll go away…’ then BOOM we find ourselves facing a big ole mess.  What have you picked up? What has attached itself to you that’s causing a leak in your spiritual life?

What have you picked up?  Let’s make an effort to pray about and deal with what we know we have and pray for God to expose those things we don’t know we have.  Presenting ourselves to Him to expose what needs to be dealt with is always a great idea.

Psalm 139:23-24:  “Search me, O God, and know my heart.  Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” (NASB)

Hit Reset!

Hit Reset

I was working this morning and somehow lost the job I was typing on.  Usually it’s seen in my pool but it disappeared.  First I panicked, thinking it had gone to the client without being completed.  With no supervisors on to remedy the problem, I decided to take a chance, log out and log back in to see if I could get it back. Sweating bullets, I did just that and after the reset, there was my lost job. I could have just continued on and most likely the job would have come to someone else to type but I didn’t know for sure whether or not it had gone to the client and I would have been concerned the rest of the day!  I would have been torn up over something I could do absolutely nothing about.

We spend so much time worrying and wondering if things are going to turn out okay and what’s going to happen if it doesn’t.  Very often the things we can do nothing about are what keeps us stuck! I was on my way there and decided to take a chance and hit a reset button.

That’s a good idea today.  Are you stressed, worried and/or fearful about something you have very little control over?  Hit the reset button.  Close your eyes and breathe.  Pray.  Pick up your Bible and ask God to point you to something in His Word that will help you take a minute to start all over.  Hopefully before we’re all wound up in a tizz over something we can do nothing about, we’ll remember to do that.

 

Matthew 11:28:  Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.”

FROM It!

So yesterday the car acted up and did something really weird (those of you who know what I’ve been through…I see you laughing, or perhaps holding your breath…). Because of my history with vehicles I was absolutely terrified to drive this morning. Screaming on the inside, I forced myself to take my son to work.  So far everything’s good. Anyway praying every mile & being grateful for every mile, it started to rain. The sky was the most unusual color as the sun was coming out and I was taking it all in, and thankful for the distraction from my anxiety! I looked up and there was a huge cloud. As the sun continued to rise this big cloud didn’t dissipate. I looked up again and all of a sudden there was a rainbow coming straight out of the cloud.

Several things crossed my mind, the first of which was to remember all the promises in the Bible, especially the ones pertaining to God‘s presence. He’s trustworthy. We can trust him. He will never leave us. He will never scold us because of our fear because he knows our humanness and all that encompasses. He doesn’t make fun, He doesn’t roll His eyes and he doesn’t withdraw like most people do when we’re needy or too much for them to handle and actually if we cry out to Him, our humanness draws Him even closer!

The other thing that so touched my heart was the fact that this was the biggest cloud in the sky. FROM the biggest cloud came the most beautiful thing – the rainbow.  God reminded me once again in the tests and trials in our lives, even the biggest ones, the things that cause us the most pain can produce something absolutely beautiful. I’m so grateful to God He showed me that this morning. I needed to be reminded. I need to stay thankful. I need to stay dependent on Him, His strength and His provision in my weakest most frightening moments.  Most importantly I need to keep looking to him and for him in every situation this life brings.

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Tie IT Down!!!!!!

I have issues.  Deep rooted, core issues, things I wrestle with on a daily basis.

Three years ago after a huge move back to East Tennessee, I had a change in my job which triggered a long term downward spiral in my life.  No money, car broke down, I could go on and on but it was traumatic and took a long time to recover from – every area of my life was impacted.

To this day because of that, I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat paralyzed in fear that it will happen again.  I can’t seem to shake it.  The FEAR of what has happened happening again holds me hostage and like a hostage negotiator with prayer and reading the Bible, God convinces me to “come out” – to believe and relax, relying 100% on Him.

This morning I was reading Genesis 22 pulling a lesson together for Sunday School tomorrow.  I confess to you I was doing this after I had been outside with my dog and seeing that I have a FLAT TIRE!!!!!!!!!!!

Every time I read this chapter, I try to put myself in Abraham’s place, walking up that mountain with his son of promise, the son God promised him in his old age; the son he waited for 25 years for; the very same son God asked him to sacrifice.  The “spiritual” Abraham walked that walk in faith but I wonder what the “physical” Abraham was thinking.

I got to the part where he tied Isaac to the altar, 100% willing to kill him (KILL HIM!) out of 100% obedience to God.  When something’s tied to the altar, it can’t escape.  There’s my problem.  I put things, concerns, prayers…ME…on the altar – totally in my heart giving whatever it is, including myself to God…but I don’t tie it down. In other words, when I get scared or I don’t understand I pull it right back up and walk away with it…then I bring it back…then take it back…then…

Oh God.   Help us TIE IT DOWN!  Help us leave it at the altar; help us have the faith of Abraham to 100% believe You and who You are and act accordingly, believing who You are.  That would mean we can’t act based on our feelings, fears or frustrations.  Help us to believe in You more than we believe in ourselves and even what we see.  Help us to seek the ram!  Help us to live in confident expectation that because You ARE our Provider, You will provide.  That’s who You are!  Forgive us our little faith.  Help us to remember Your promises and to walk in Proverbs 3:5-6.

Whatever your “it” is, take it to God, tie it down and leave it there.

Proverbs 3:5-6; Genesis 22

 

He Can Handle It

Their eyes meet from across the room.  She tries to talk herself out of being attracted to him; he thinks she’s beautiful.  It seems like every place she goes, he’s there. Finally he catches her in a moment with no one around and he hones in to speak to her, one on one. He’s totally enchanted with her and she, him.  They arrange a meeting and then another.  After being with her for a while, although he’s sure he loves her, he starts to notice the deep wounds she carries.  The more he’s with her, the more prominent the wounds become.

She doesn’t show them to everyone, but she thought she could trust him.  Why else would there be such chemistry and attraction between them if she wasn’t safe to show him who she really is, what has happened to her? Surely she’s safe with him. She wasn’t. She was wrong. Eventually she finds that he, too, once her man of promise, has abandoned her.

Nothing is more beautiful than being loved by someone not because of all you’ve been through and who you really are…but in spite of it.  They come to know even the ugliest you and to your surprise, love you any way. That’s what real love does.  Too often though for one reason or another – good reasons and bad – we find we’re too heavy a package that people drop too easily. We find people can’t handle our reality – the real us.  They like us, they love us, they hate us.  No matter how hard we try to “be good”, be what the other one wants and needs, it’s never enough.

All of us carry wounds others have no idea about until we let them close enough to see.  When we’re exposed, they may decide they can’t handle it and they sometimes become distant.  Love is an overused and abused word used often with good intentions but few results.  Some have heard that word so many times (chimed in with other well-intended promises of faithfulness and love) we don’t want to take the chance on hearing it again.

We can totally expose ourselves to Jesus.  We may as well, he knows it’s all there anyway.  He can handle it.  He’ll never walk away no matter what has to be done to heal the wounds…ALL of them.  He’s perfect love, and human love can only be successful through Him (I believe).  He’ll never be intimidated and reject us because of anything we’ve been through, done or are going through.  We’ll never be too much, too wounded, too lost or too far gone for Him.  He can handle it.  As a matter of fact, what’s hurt us the most and left the ugliest scar on us, He died for.  He came specifically so we could be one with Him, expose ourselves completely to Him and let Him heal us.  He can even make the scars more beautiful.  He changes them from something we seek to cover to things of beauty we long to expose to glorify Him.

Whatever’s going on with you, He can handle it.  Whatever you’ve done, He can handle it.  He died so He could make you whole.  You, beloved, can trust Him.  Will you?

Matthew 11:28:  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  (NASB)

I’m Positive: I Don’t Know.

 

Good job: gone.  Money:  nonexistent.  Friends:  nowhere.  Money:  none. Refrigerator:  empty.  Eviction notice:  served.  Diagnosis:  terminal.

Lying awake night after night, praying, crying, begging God to help.  Nothing.  The next day is like the last day, spent in the grasp of fear and anxiety.

What do you do when you’re clinging to God with every breath, and He’s silent?  He has certainly not responded like you thought He would…like you think He should. Getting out of bed to do it all again seems unappealing.  Why? Just another day of failure, fear and discouragement.  Why even try, you ask yourself. Isn’t there a story in the Bible where Job’s wife told him, “curse God and die…”?  Maybe that’s the answer.  You tried everything else and it appears that you’ve failed.

There’s some fierce battling going on here.  On days, in situations like that the only thing to do is go on His say-so.  You must muster up enough faith in the Lord to try to convince yourself…despite whatever circumstance…that He is true to His word.  This is a battle for your faith.  The enemy knows what’s inside you and he’s (I believe) concerned that you’ll have an impact in the future so he must defeat you now – he’s aiming for you and this time his aim was very good.  You’re down and your faith is almost nonexistent.  Thus the decision.

Believe that God hasn’t left you.  Believe He’s faithful and His promises are applicable to you, personally.  Believe He will see you through.  How will He do it?  I have no idea.  What will He do to help you?  I don’t know.  I just know He will.  “Lord, because You say you’re with me, You’ll provide for me and will never leave me, I’m getting up out of bed.”  Sometimes we have no other reason other than that to start a new day.  This is faith.

Countless, the times in the past two years I’ve done just that.  I couldn’t see how I would live through the day (wasn’t real sure I wanted to), but I did…by His grace alone.  I could tell you story after story of how He has provided – it hasn’t been pretty and lots of it I didn’t like but He did. Through that, I have seen Him as never before…and I know Him better than I ever have.

How will he help you?  I’m positive of one thing:  I have no idea.  But.  I know He will.

~Philippians 4:19~