Tag Archives: fear

Code 82!! Code 82!!

This morning was a normal morning.  No drama, son got up on time.  Normal, normal.  Calm, calm.  My favourite kind of morning.  Until I got in my car.  Instead of the normal dashboard readings I saw something ominous:  “CODE 82”

Those who know me know NOTHING scares or upsets me more than something being wrong with the car. As I’ve said on multiple occasions, I have many car horror stories.  Immediately I started shaking…and praying.  I pulled out the owner’s manual:  nothing.  Nada.  I was afraid to drive my son to work so we called him a taxi and I waited until my car guy opened his shop.  I talked to God all the way through and practiced saying thank you for whatever it was knowing (I mean REALLY trusting) that whatever it was He would help me take care of it.

Finally it came time for the car place to open.  They told me it was a “change oil” indicator – but that made me feel no better because I had my oil changed around 1000 miles ago (by him).  They weren’t concerned at all; me – another story.  I was trying so hard to be a big girl.  My heart knew Father would help – my head well…let’s just say a fierce battle to ‘walk in the Spirit and not fulfil the lust of the flesh’ was happening. I wanted to smile and believe; I was trying sooooo hard to – but my head kept telling me impending disaster was occurring right before my eyes!

Turns out, it was an oil indicator that hadn’t been reset.  These gentlemen (Calhoun Motor Company) even put it up on the rack, checked the oil and everything under the hood to make sure everything was okay.  They went over and beyond to ease my anxiety.

Two things – AGAIN – came to mind.  First, when trouble or fear hits because we’re human, we’ll have some kind of physical reaction albeit a racing heart, a head game telling you the world’s about to explode or something.

The second thing is, when something does happen (and believe me it WILL), pray FIRST.  Then do what you can do.  Had I just let the car set and fretted over it instead of taking it where I knew I could get it seen to, I would’ve made myself sick eventually. I know because I’ve sat praying for something to be resolved not making any effort to do what I could because I was paralysed in fear or dread and nothing got accomplished.

Even if Code 82 had been something major, I was reminded yet again that my Father is with me through it all. He stands ready to calm and help me – and He wants to.  Instead of running to me though, He waits for me to turn to Him.  I did and we dealt with Code 82.

What are you dealing with right now?  Stop.  Talk to the One who loves you the most then see what can be done.  ****Interestingly, these were my verses this morning.  Thank You Father that I got the chance to put them into practice!  Don’t you LOVE IT!!!!

Philippians 4:4-7 (NASB)  “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men.  The Lord is near.  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

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Hit Reset!

Hit Reset

I was working this morning and somehow lost the job I was typing on.  Usually it’s seen in my pool but it disappeared.  First I panicked, thinking it had gone to the client without being completed.  With no supervisors on to remedy the problem, I decided to take a chance, log out and log back in to see if I could get it back. Sweating bullets, I did just that and after the reset, there was my lost job. I could have just continued on and most likely the job would have come to someone else to type but I didn’t know for sure whether or not it had gone to the client and I would have been concerned the rest of the day!  I would have been torn up over something I could do absolutely nothing about.

We spend so much time worrying and wondering if things are going to turn out okay and what’s going to happen if it doesn’t.  Very often the things we can do nothing about are what keeps us stuck! I was on my way there and decided to take a chance and hit a reset button.

That’s a good idea today.  Are you stressed, worried and/or fearful about something you have very little control over?  Hit the reset button.  Close your eyes and breathe.  Pray.  Pick up your Bible and ask God to point you to something in His Word that will help you take a minute to start all over.  Hopefully before we’re all wound up in a tizz over something we can do nothing about, we’ll remember to do that.

 

Matthew 11:28:  Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.”

FROM It!

So yesterday the car acted up and did something really weird (those of you who know what I’ve been through…I see you laughing, or perhaps holding your breath…). Because of my history with vehicles I was absolutely terrified to drive this morning. Screaming on the inside, I forced myself to take my son to work.  So far everything’s good. Anyway praying every mile & being grateful for every mile, it started to rain. The sky was the most unusual color as the sun was coming out and I was taking it all in, and thankful for the distraction from my anxiety! I looked up and there was a huge cloud. As the sun continued to rise this big cloud didn’t dissipate. I looked up again and all of a sudden there was a rainbow coming straight out of the cloud.

Several things crossed my mind, the first of which was to remember all the promises in the Bible, especially the ones pertaining to God‘s presence. He’s trustworthy. We can trust him. He will never leave us. He will never scold us because of our fear because he knows our humanness and all that encompasses. He doesn’t make fun, He doesn’t roll His eyes and he doesn’t withdraw like most people do when we’re needy or too much for them to handle and actually if we cry out to Him, our humanness draws Him even closer!

The other thing that so touched my heart was the fact that this was the biggest cloud in the sky. FROM the biggest cloud came the most beautiful thing – the rainbow.  God reminded me once again in the tests and trials in our lives, even the biggest ones, the things that cause us the most pain can produce something absolutely beautiful. I’m so grateful to God He showed me that this morning. I needed to be reminded. I need to stay thankful. I need to stay dependent on Him, His strength and His provision in my weakest most frightening moments.  Most importantly I need to keep looking to him and for him in every situation this life brings.

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Just Breathe and Believe

Don’t worry, if you’re worried, that this present issue you’re dealing with will kill you.  It wasn’t designed for your demise.  It was designed to prepare you for your destiny. That’s both good and bad!

The enemy through which this circumstance, place you’re in, or person you’re dealing with desires to make you miserable (if you’re a believer).  He doesn’t want you dead for many reasons, the most important of which is the fact he knows where you’re going and he can’t use you anymore once you’re physically present with Christ.  He knows how salvation works; I think he witnessed it while in heaven with God.  No friend, he doesn’t want you graveyard dead; he wants you spiritually dead.

The enemy wants you alive so he can rejoice in watching you suffer!  He wants you to feel everything thrown at you.  He wants you to focus on your broken heart, your shattered dreams and the depression and sadness you feel. He wants you to stay completely focused on yourself and how hard life is.  He loves that.

The enemy wants you to be so afraid of past disappointments, failures and rejection that you don’t dare venture out of your self-imposed prison to believe God.  He wants you to believe your doubt and past experiences more than you dare believe God.  He wants you to constantly recall the times you ventured out in 100% nothing but faith and things didn’t go like you planned.  He wants you to remember how crushed you were when even the things you did for God weren’t easy, in fact they were extremely difficult.  He’s aware that the seed of doubt was planted back then and he does everything in his power to see to it your doubt grows every time you even think about stepping out in faith.  You remember every single pain and disappointment of that time.  Some will never, because of the pain and devastation, take a step…let alone a leap…of faith, ever again.  That place of doubt becomes the cemetery where their faith is buried.

If you’re reading this, you’re not dead.  You reached for a smidgen of encouragement – a “mustard seed” of faith.  God allowed what happened to you, to happen.  He has his reasons, some of which may never be understood so maybe it’s time to quit trying to understand and just simply trust.  You’re not dead.  You’re still here and if you’ll just lift your head up, pour your heart out and believe that all things – all things work to the good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose, then He can heal and restore you.  It may not be easy and it may take some time, but if you’ll believe and stay with it, He will do things for you, in you and through you that will strengthen your heart, heal your mind and way of thinking and touch your weary and wounded soul.

Sometimes it takes a lot of courage and strength to believe after you’ve been hit hard but what do you have to lose?  Come on out to the Light.  Darkness doesn’t become you at all.  If all things aren’t possible for those who believe, He wouldn’t have said it.  Come on.  Believe one more time, then another and another.  Don’t let the enemy rob you of one more second.  Just breathe and believe.

Go With What You Have

Gideon was in a winepress threshing wheat. I’m sure since it was a winepress and he was trying to thresh wheat it was a hard job because the place was most likely ill-equipped for wheat threshing.  This hard job in a less than favorable place was the result of Israel’s turning from God and being captives of the Midianites.

I can picture him talking to himself not happy with his current circumstances  – because honestly that’s what I would be doing.

In the midst of hardship and hard times, the Angel of the Lord greeted him: “Mighty hero, the Lord is with you!” (Judges 6:12 NLT). Gideon responds with questions and doubts. The Angel didn’t indulge him; he simply said “Go with this strength you have” and save Israel to which Gideon responded with statements justifying the reasons he couldn’t comply – “We’re the least of the least…and I’m the least of the least of the least!”

I know you’ve been there – things are looking pretty bad, so bad you begin to question God.  Prayers seem unanswered and you find yourself in a place you shouldn’t be, never intended to be and don’t want to be in.

Take to heart the truth captured in Gideon’s story.  You have what you need to do what you need to do.  If you’re saved you have Jesus, His power and the Holy Spirit inside you Who is the power to get through what you’re going through.

Go with what you have.  Trust God for the rest.

Judges 6

Tie IT Down!!!!!!

I have issues.  Deep rooted, core issues, things I wrestle with on a daily basis.

Three years ago after a huge move back to East Tennessee, I had a change in my job which triggered a long term downward spiral in my life.  No money, car broke down, I could go on and on but it was traumatic and took a long time to recover from – every area of my life was impacted.

To this day because of that, I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat paralyzed in fear that it will happen again.  I can’t seem to shake it.  The FEAR of what has happened happening again holds me hostage and like a hostage negotiator with prayer and reading the Bible, God convinces me to “come out” – to believe and relax, relying 100% on Him.

This morning I was reading Genesis 22 pulling a lesson together for Sunday School tomorrow.  I confess to you I was doing this after I had been outside with my dog and seeing that I have a FLAT TIRE!!!!!!!!!!!

Every time I read this chapter, I try to put myself in Abraham’s place, walking up that mountain with his son of promise, the son God promised him in his old age; the son he waited for 25 years for; the very same son God asked him to sacrifice.  The “spiritual” Abraham walked that walk in faith but I wonder what the “physical” Abraham was thinking.

I got to the part where he tied Isaac to the altar, 100% willing to kill him (KILL HIM!) out of 100% obedience to God.  When something’s tied to the altar, it can’t escape.  There’s my problem.  I put things, concerns, prayers…ME…on the altar – totally in my heart giving whatever it is, including myself to God…but I don’t tie it down. In other words, when I get scared or I don’t understand I pull it right back up and walk away with it…then I bring it back…then take it back…then…

Oh God.   Help us TIE IT DOWN!  Help us leave it at the altar; help us have the faith of Abraham to 100% believe You and who You are and act accordingly, believing who You are.  That would mean we can’t act based on our feelings, fears or frustrations.  Help us to believe in You more than we believe in ourselves and even what we see.  Help us to seek the ram!  Help us to live in confident expectation that because You ARE our Provider, You will provide.  That’s who You are!  Forgive us our little faith.  Help us to remember Your promises and to walk in Proverbs 3:5-6.

Whatever your “it” is, take it to God, tie it down and leave it there.

Proverbs 3:5-6; Genesis 22

 

Look Back

Life was falling apart, husband said he wants a divorce.  The very night her husband told her his plan, a member of the family called offering her a job in his business because other family members that worked there got a job and other reasons…and offered her a job.  Feeling like it was a meant to be thing, she accepted and moved to their little town to begin the job and a new phase of her life.  She thought it would be wonderful, family close by, actually working for them.  She needed support and if the truth were known, she needed help.  Her son had many health issues from birth and this kind of support would be a dream come true.

It didn’t exactly turn out like that and after a year or so the family member told her he was closing down the business and she would have to get another job but not to worry, he would help her find one.  Because he was very well known in the little town, he asked someone who knew someone who knew someone at the local hospital who told him to have her apply for a Medical Transcription job.  She laughed out loud.  That’s a skilled profession, she had no experience and hadn’t even worked in a doctor’s office.  Impossible.  Ridiculous.  Just trying to get rid of her she thought. But because he pushed, she applied…and got the job.

She remembers sitting at a typewriter bawling, trying not to throw up because she was sure this was absolutely impossible.  “My God, what have I gotten myself into”, she kept saying to herself.  She couldn’t understand a word the doctor was saying and her very job was to type what he was saying!  To make matters worse, the department head told her, “you’ll never make it, I’ll have you gone in 30 days.” She made it very clear she was pressured into hiring her because a board member recommended me (because of the family member) and in a small town, that’s pretty much the way things went.  Nobody was happy with that situation, least of all the woman at the job.  She didn’t want to be there as much as her boss didn’t want her to be there.  A host of crazy things happened but she persevered…

Almost 30 years later, here I am, working at home as a Medical Transcriptionist.  That job (that I was thrust into because of circumstances beyond my control; the job I hated at first) has provided for me and my son.  Not only that because I work at home, I can work around what Matt needs to do – his work, appointments, and things he enjoys in his personal life.  Because he’s site impaired and doesn’t drive, he’s blessed to have a pretty normal and free life.  The kind of work I do allowed me to move back home to Kingsport, which was my heart’s desire.  I can make a living doing something I absolutely love (even though I hated it in the beginning) for an Australian company that has turned out to be the best, most enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

As I remembered all the details that brought me to this moment, I was brought to tears.  The beginning of how I got here was horrible.  I almost quit several times and in between then and now, a lot has happened, good and bad but I stuck with it, sometimes because I had to; other times because I wanted to.

The word that immediately comes to mind is PROVISION.  See, way back then when I thought my life was falling apart, God had a bigger plan.  Even though He was the last thing on my mind at that time, I was foremost in His.  When all that happened, I was lost and, if the truth be known, thought there was absolutely no hope for any kind of halfway decent life at all.

Your life may be crashing right before your very eyes.  You may think you won’t survive what you’re going through; you may hate what you’re doing and are looking for a way out.  Hang on a little bit longer.  Trust God and let your faith in Him grow stronger.   Do what you can do and trust Him for the rest.

Look back for a minute and see how far you’ve come.  Friend, none of it is by accident or happenstance.  Like me, one day you’ll look back and see His presence, love and provision for you every inch of the way.

Jeremiah 29:11-13; Isaiah 43:10